"Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you." Proverbs 4:25
Many years ago, when I used to run for exercise, I found myself running along the country road leading away from Camp Barnabas early one morning. I watched a few counselors running ahead of me. About a quarter of a mile out of camp I spied a large, ferocious-looking dog run from it's perch on a dilapidated farmhouse porch and growl menacingly while nipping at one counselor's heels. This young man kicked the dog away, but steadfastly kept running at his regular pace. The dog continued his pursuit until the two young men were beyond the fence boundaries of the farm.
My heart began racing as I envisioned this menacing farm dog literally tearing my legs off my body! By nature I am afraid of dogs bigger than, say, a small Bichon. So this aggressive canine was just too much for me to handle! Without skipping a beat I abruptly turned around and began running a little more quickly back to camp. "No way am I gonna face that dog," I thought to myself.
As I neared the entrance to camp I noticed other small groups of counselors leaving for their early morning run. I wondered how they would fare as they ran past the dog. Curious, I turned around to watch how others reacted to the growling dog. Amazingly these separate two-somes and three-somes just kept jogging -- mostly without missing a step and with little attention to their aggressor. "How can that be?!" I wondered aloud.
Then suddenly it dawned on me. They had kept their eyes on their target destination. Perhaps they glanced at the dog, but most of these runners paid little attention to their aggressor -- and just kept running. "Aha! That's the answer," I thought to myself. "I'll keep my eyes focused on my target destination and I won't even glance at the growling dog." Then a still small voice seem to whisper, "If these people can make it beyond the farmhouse, then so can you! Keep your eyes on your final destination. And ignore the distractions along the way -- including the scary ones."
I resolved to do the same and turned around once more. This time I focused on a distant silo -- my turn-around point -- and began jogging in a slow and steady pace. As you can imagine my heart began beating faster and my palms became sweaty as I approached the farmhouse. I continued to jog toward the silo, then, ever so slowly ran beyond the farmhouse. Steadfastly I jogged forward without looking to the right or the left. My eyes were zeroed in on that silo in the distance. I heard the dog barking as he ran onto this country road. He seemed to jump from my left side to my right side with reckless abandon. "Will I ever get beyond this house?!" my mind screamed. I kept going for what seemed like an eternity.
As quickly as the dog appeared, he disappeared. I kept jogging I reached that silo, then, resolutely began my return home -- instinctively knowing that it would be a little easier this time. My heart still sped up a little and my palms still turned sweaty, but not to the degree that I'd experienced earlier. When I returned to camp I put away my sneakers and didn't run for the rest of the week! Only later did I process and think about this experience. I learned that ...
- It's best to focus on our destination rather than on the scary distractions that can pop-up along the way;
- We learn by watching others walk through difficult situations and scary times;
- Others learn from watching us walk through difficult situations and scary times;
- Courage is a force of will that can be learned;
- And, sometimes a step of faith if necessary to complete one's journey.
P.S. I recently took Jeremy and Rebekah to Camp Barnabas and saw that farmhouse in complete disrepair. It stood empty -- without people, or dogs.
One balmy, August morning, I wearily climbed down from the school bus and traipsed into our junior high school gymnasium. Along with others from my bus, I ambled into the gymnasium while scanning for friends. Because it was so early in the morning, there was usually very little chatter until we ultimately reached our destination -- school. It was a time to socialize, flirt and preen before others ~~ as 7th graders, the bottom of the barrel in junior high school.
For almost a week now I had endured this change from elementary to junior high school. Exciting at first, it became more socially challenging as I worked to establish myself into the hierarchy of seventh grade student life. After all, there were so many more people to meet and get to know. I wondered where would I fit. I really didn't feel a part of any specific crowd.
Throughout most of grade school I had been a part of a trio of friends in our little elementary school. We three had many things in common like Girl Scouts, dance lessons, sleepovers and camp- outs. But now I was watching my three best friends stand in a huddle with a group of other girls ~~ a new group was evolving. For some reason I no longer felt comfortable around my old friends, nor did I feel capable of cracking into what I viewed as their inner sanctum. Truth be told, I was tired of trying to fit in these last couple of weeks in junior high. Brushing past the satellite groups of people standing on the gymnasium floor I resolutely climbed the steps of the bleachers to sit alone. It was in that time of solitude that I made the conscious decision to make new friends -- friends with whom I would feel comfortable and accepted.
The next week I climbed onto my school bus and scanned the crowd for a seat. I spotted a girl from my old elementary school sitting with an open seat beside her, so I asked if we could sit together. "Sure," she quipped, and a friendship took root that day that has lasted more than 40 years. Looking back I see that moment as being pivotal in my life. I learned quickly how to make friends and to have confidence in myself as a friend. To this day it is always a treasure for me to learn about others, and that's exactly how I went about making friends with Robin. I took it upon myself to learn about my new friend, and she began to learn about me. We shared, giggled and laughed our way through six years of being the very best of friends.
Robin helped me gain confidence in myself. She taught me how to be comfortable with all sorts of people. Together we made all sorts of new friends. I understood loyalty in a precious new light as Robin stood by me again and again despite my many flaws. The end of our high school years brought some separation when life took us in different directions.
As Megan and Rebekah have each entered their formative years I have used this story to help them understand the importance of being able to make new friends while maintaining your older friendships. I have tried to teach them to be comfortable with the friends they choose. It seems to be very important for seventh and eight grade girls to want to be thought as as pretty, fashionable and popular with someone or some group of friends. There certainly was nothing wrong with the girls with whom I parted company. Some remained friends as we continued to share extracurricular activities together. It was simply time for me to make new friends ~~ for a new season in life.
God brings friends into our lives for different seasons and reasons. Since that time in seventh grade I've had many friends -- some have stayed with me for a very long time, others have moved on depending upon the stages of our lives. It has been a pleasure getting to know so many other people in my lifetime. I feel blessed to have made some very precious friends who have supported and loved me throughout the years.
