Yesterday I took our twenty year old son, Jeremy, to visit the place where he is to begin working in January. It was a momentous occasion for both of us. December 16th will be Jeremy's last day in the public school system ~~ a place of safety and comfort for both of us. Emotionally I was coming to grips with the reality that my job of raising Jeremy was almost complete. My thoughts were wildly churning as I grappled with conflicting emotions.
Jeremy, too, was having some trouble processing this new change. At first I saw signs of excitement and eagerness on Jeremy's face. He smiled and quietly chuckled to himself as we strolled into the building with our case manager, Dan. Then we signed in and received a "visitor badge" that required nimble fingers to attach. Jeremy did this, but expressed slight anxiety when he asked, "Wear it right here?!" "Yes, it looks good, Jeremy," I reassured my son.
As we walked through this facility several young adults walked right up to our group, enthusiastically stuck out their hands and said, "Hi, what's your name? Nice to meet you!" You see, these young adults were people just like Jeremy ~~ special in their own way. I could see that Jeremy enjoyed these short interruptions =) He looked around as we made our way along, visiting several stations with groups of workers doing a variety of jobs. The position Jeremy is slated for actually involves the assembly of medical lab kits. There will be ten to co-workers alongside Jeremy with two supervisors close by. This team seems to work more quietly than some of the other teams ~~ probably a very good fit for Jeremy. I find myself a little more at peace at this point. But then I learn that sometimes there is 'down time' when the group is waiting for more supplies to arrive from the parent company which can last a few days or even a couple of weeks. Immediately I register more questions in my mind with silent alarms ringing in my head.
"Jeremy needs structure and activity!" For many people with autism, inactivity breeds boredom and boredom breeds what professionals call "self-stimulation" activities. You know, the wiggling of fingers in front of their faces, constant rocking, muttered phrases which make little sense except to the speaker, and so on. We've spent years working to erase those impulses from our son! Focus really means, "Stay in this world, Jeremy! Do not 'stim'! Attend to your tasks so that you can move beyond your autism!" I resolve to keep my emotions in check, although Jeremy seems to have radar and is able to sense even my tiniest stress.
When we return home I head upstairs to rest. I want to be alone for awhile to process today's events, and, I may need to cry. Trudging upstairs, my heart is heavy and my head hurts from all the questions running around my brain. Lying on my bed I cry out to God, "Why didn't you heal Jeremy from his autism? Didn't You promised to make him well?! Now he's twenty and still has autism! What will become of Jeremy as he grows older?" Silent tears run down my face as I ponder my feelings and thoughts. Then I hear a small, still, and silent whisper to my heart that says, "Trust me. I am in control, not you." Immediately my heart begins to quiet and my spirit starts to rest.
Hebrews 11: 1 says, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." So I ask myself where is my faith coming from? Myself or God? For sure I am prone to taking charge and making things happen. So my often my faith surely rests in myself. But deep inside I know that I am only Jeremy's caretaker. I'm really not in control of his future well-being. Rick and I can make our plans, but ultimately God is who leads us in our decisions. And I begin to remember all those times when we happened upon various therapies, changed schools and even moved at the prompting of our hearts. Yes, I reason. I may not be completely at peace, but I do know that this is the right direction we're to take with Jeremy at this juncture in his life.
I now brace myself for the future. Deep inside I know there will be trials as we navigate this new road of employment. But I can also rest in my spirit knowing that my faith means abandoning all trust in my own resources to instead rely on those things I cannot see like God's promises, His provisions and His continued love for Jeremy.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Saturday, December 3, 2011
A Disneyworld Adventure
Our family had wanted to go to Disneyworld for many years and we had been saving our money for quite awhile. In the spring of that that year the funds that we'd set aside for Disneyworld were unexpectedly wiped out due to a hail storm that destroyed our roof. It looked as though our planned trip to Disneyworld was going to have to wait. I was frustrated with life's unfairness and it was painful to look beyond the difficulties to think of the proverbial "silver lining for every dark cloud" in our lives.
At times it was a struggle to juggle the costs of Jeremy's therapy with the costs of living for the rest of our family. We wanted our other children to learn that they were valued, too, so we offered our daughters chances to take various lessons throughout the years. And we worked hard not to let Jeremy's special needs overshadow their accomplishments & needs. Coupled with the fact that Rick had started a business just a few years previously didn't help our financial situation. We were always able to pay our bills and have money for necessities. But for several years we lived frugally and often times, without.
Then someone suggested that I contact the Dream Factory of Kansas City, an organization who is able to give children with long-term chronic health issues & special needs like Down's Syndrome & Autism the opportunity to fulfill their one dream in life. I had thought that this organization only fulfilled the dreams for children who were dying.
All our kids wanted to go to Disneyworld, especially Jeremy. He still loves the Disney cartoons and knows all the songs from every movie =) The girls loved the Princess Disney movies ~~ Megan loved Belle from "Beauty & the Beast" probably they both had brown hair & loved books while Rebekah loved Princess Jasmine who was an exotic beauty.
So I called the Dream Factory and began working to fulfill this desire for Jeremy & our family. The Dream Factory was very gracious and generous. Within a couple of months we were on our way to Orlando compliments of this wonderful non-profit organization. Our airline flight, car rental, hotel accommodations and spending money was given to us just because our son with autism and his family wanted to go to Disneyworld!
We flew the Monday after Thanksgiving and stayed an entire week. Disneyworld was decorated for the Christmas holiday and was spectacular to view! The best part of all was that the number guests were low (because of the time of year we went) so we could ride any ride we wanted to without having to wait very long. Our family had a really good time together and cherished every minute at Disneyworld!
As I reflect back on this time in my life, I realize that God often provides for our family in unique & unexpected ways. This one story is but one example of the kindness of God as shown through others. I have learned that God is faithful even when times are tough and I don't necessarily feel His presence. God is a generous God that sometimes chooses to surprise us with a gift when we least expect it, but when we most need it =)
At times it was a struggle to juggle the costs of Jeremy's therapy with the costs of living for the rest of our family. We wanted our other children to learn that they were valued, too, so we offered our daughters chances to take various lessons throughout the years. And we worked hard not to let Jeremy's special needs overshadow their accomplishments & needs. Coupled with the fact that Rick had started a business just a few years previously didn't help our financial situation. We were always able to pay our bills and have money for necessities. But for several years we lived frugally and often times, without.
Then someone suggested that I contact the Dream Factory of Kansas City, an organization who is able to give children with long-term chronic health issues & special needs like Down's Syndrome & Autism the opportunity to fulfill their one dream in life. I had thought that this organization only fulfilled the dreams for children who were dying.
All our kids wanted to go to Disneyworld, especially Jeremy. He still loves the Disney cartoons and knows all the songs from every movie =) The girls loved the Princess Disney movies ~~ Megan loved Belle from "Beauty & the Beast" probably they both had brown hair & loved books while Rebekah loved Princess Jasmine who was an exotic beauty.
So I called the Dream Factory and began working to fulfill this desire for Jeremy & our family. The Dream Factory was very gracious and generous. Within a couple of months we were on our way to Orlando compliments of this wonderful non-profit organization. Our airline flight, car rental, hotel accommodations and spending money was given to us just because our son with autism and his family wanted to go to Disneyworld!
We flew the Monday after Thanksgiving and stayed an entire week. Disneyworld was decorated for the Christmas holiday and was spectacular to view! The best part of all was that the number guests were low (because of the time of year we went) so we could ride any ride we wanted to without having to wait very long. Our family had a really good time together and cherished every minute at Disneyworld!
As I reflect back on this time in my life, I realize that God often provides for our family in unique & unexpected ways. This one story is but one example of the kindness of God as shown through others. I have learned that God is faithful even when times are tough and I don't necessarily feel His presence. God is a generous God that sometimes chooses to surprise us with a gift when we least expect it, but when we most need it =)
Monday, November 28, 2011
The Night My Dad Grew Our Christmas Tree
Christmas is a magical time of year for many people around the world. For our family the season begins the day after Thanksgiving when we begin to think about decorating our home and buying Christmas gifts. I must admit that I find it necessary to brace myself for the Christmas season because so much energy is spent getting ready for the one special magical day of Christmas. But it was not always so ...
My dad was sort of a prankster at times. You wouldn't guess it so, but my dad could have a wicked sense of humor. I find myself smiling when I think of my dad's sense of fun when he wasn't working. Driving home from my grandma's house on Christmas Eve, my dad would call out, "Girls, I hear that Santa has left the North Pole! If we hurry home and you jump into bed, I'll bet he's at our house by midnight!" Judy and I would giggle excitedly and begin making plans for waking up early in the morning. Because my sister was an early riser, she often declared her intention to wake us all up early ~~ maybe as early at six o'clock! Even though I was, and still am, a night owl, I readily agreed to her plan just so we could see the wonderful sight of the Christmas tree with beautifully decorated presents beneath its majestic branches.
I have early memories of our family buying Christmas trees from a parking lot "Christmas Tree Store". We'd tie the tree to the top of our most recent station wagon and drive home ~~ anticipating the fun of decorating our Christmas tree =) I remember carefully laying the silver tinsel all over the tree as our final touch of creativity. We would have Christmas music playing on the record player and Mom would serve hot chocolate ever so often. But one year, when I was about eight years old, my dad decided to add a little excitement to our traditional plans of Christmas ...
"Girls, we're going to grow a Christmas tree tonight!" declared my dad. "Grow a Christmas tree in one night!?" both Judy and I excited asked. "Yep," said my dad holding up what appeared to be a little red seed , "with this little Christmas tree seed!" We peered into Dad's hand as he cradled one little red something in his outstretched palm. His face was flushed with excitement as he smiled at us from above. "Are you ready for some fun tonight, Kathy? Judy? Do you believe we can grow a Christmas tree tonight?" "Oh, yes, we believe!" And we did believe, even though I secretly wondered how in the world a big Christmas tree could grow in just one night from this one itty bitty little seed. Then, again, I thought to myself, Dad knows alot about building & growing.
So we began by first pushing our little index fingers into the soft soil in our ceramic cannister designed to hold a large evergreen tree. Then Dad lovingly placed our little seed into our hole and gently covered it with soil. We watered our little seed with Mom's green watering can with a long spout used to water her kitchen plants. Staring at our newly planted Christmas tree, Judy and I watched and waited for awhile. Nothing seemed to be taking place so we watched a little more. Reading the newspaper while sitting in his green, dad-only recliner, my dad looked up and said, "If you girls find something else to do, your tree will grow faster. It's like this: A pot of water seems to take forever to boil when it's watched." So Judy and I scurried off to play for awhile.
Ten or fifteen minutes later we returned to our cannister to see if there was detectable growth. Oh my gosh!!! There appeared to be a sprig of growth in the form of one evergreen needle sticking up from the soil!!! Judy and I were astonished! We were, indeed, growing our Christmas tree that very night! Our excitement could hardly be contained! Jumping around, laughing, giggling ... "wait till our friends hear about this!" we thought aloud!
By this time we were ready to exit the room for awhile because we knew our tree would grow faster. Again, we returned only to find a little bit bigger sprig of twig with a few pine needles standing up in our cannister! This cycle repeated until we ultimately witnessed a 2-foot branch growing from our cannister. My dad finally encouraged us to go to bed ... it was late by this time, probably 9pm, ... with the assured promise that our Christmas tree would be full grown by morning. It was hard to fall asleep that night, but I did finally drift off to sleep fully planning on awakening early to see our new tree in full display!
As you might guess Judy and I caught our first glimpse of a full-sized Christmas tree that next morning! Oh my, we were so very excited!
The next year my sister and I asked Dad if we could grow a Christmas tree, again. Imagine our great sadness & disappointment when he laughed and declared the whole experience to be a hoax! As we listened in stunned silence as Dad explained that the idea came to him after he'd read a story in the Reader's Digest. The little red seed was really a "Red Hot" candy and he'd placed little pieces of the tree into the cannister whenever we'd leave the room. Our hearts were heavy as Disappointment reigned that day. Never again would we ask Dad to grow a Christmas tree for Christmas. The magic of the Christmas season seemed to "pop" after the truth of his deception was revealed.
When I think about it, it wasn't much later that I finally accepted the truth that Santa Claus wasn't a real story. Oh, I knew in my heart what the real meaning of Christmas was about, but I'd blended the story of Santa with the Nativity story somewhere along the way. Some of the magic spell of Christmas, which included the Santa Claus story and our Christmas Tree story, was broken for me. As I grew I began to understand the mechanics of Christmas with an adult perspective. Christmas began to take on more and more responsibility so that by age 15, I was thinking about buying or making gifts, myself. No longer did the giving of gifts center only on what I would receive. The magic of Christmas seemed to elude my heart for years.
My dad was having fun and also trying to keep the magic of Christmas alive for my sister and I. He wasn't trying to be mean. Rather he was trying to help make our holiday even more special than it already was. What I have learned is that the magic of Christmas can still reside in my heart ~~ no matter if I believe in Santa Claus or the Growing-of-the- Christmas-Tree-In-One-Night stories. Rick and I never chose to grow a Christmas tree for our three children, ... nor did we spend much time talking about Santa Claus. Instead our family worked to include the story of the birth of Jesus into our holiday celebrations and traditions.
...But I will never ever forget the night we grew our Christmas tree. It was one very special and magical evening for the Taral family ... What did I learn? I finally learned that the true Magic of Christmas is more than the story of Santa & his elves working tirelessly to bring gifts to every little boy and girl around the world on Christmas Eve. Instead it is the Magic of the virgin birth of Jesus, my Lord and Savior.
My dad was sort of a prankster at times. You wouldn't guess it so, but my dad could have a wicked sense of humor. I find myself smiling when I think of my dad's sense of fun when he wasn't working. Driving home from my grandma's house on Christmas Eve, my dad would call out, "Girls, I hear that Santa has left the North Pole! If we hurry home and you jump into bed, I'll bet he's at our house by midnight!" Judy and I would giggle excitedly and begin making plans for waking up early in the morning. Because my sister was an early riser, she often declared her intention to wake us all up early ~~ maybe as early at six o'clock! Even though I was, and still am, a night owl, I readily agreed to her plan just so we could see the wonderful sight of the Christmas tree with beautifully decorated presents beneath its majestic branches.
I have early memories of our family buying Christmas trees from a parking lot "Christmas Tree Store". We'd tie the tree to the top of our most recent station wagon and drive home ~~ anticipating the fun of decorating our Christmas tree =) I remember carefully laying the silver tinsel all over the tree as our final touch of creativity. We would have Christmas music playing on the record player and Mom would serve hot chocolate ever so often. But one year, when I was about eight years old, my dad decided to add a little excitement to our traditional plans of Christmas ...
"Girls, we're going to grow a Christmas tree tonight!" declared my dad. "Grow a Christmas tree in one night!?" both Judy and I excited asked. "Yep," said my dad holding up what appeared to be a little red seed , "with this little Christmas tree seed!" We peered into Dad's hand as he cradled one little red something in his outstretched palm. His face was flushed with excitement as he smiled at us from above. "Are you ready for some fun tonight, Kathy? Judy? Do you believe we can grow a Christmas tree tonight?" "Oh, yes, we believe!" And we did believe, even though I secretly wondered how in the world a big Christmas tree could grow in just one night from this one itty bitty little seed. Then, again, I thought to myself, Dad knows alot about building & growing.
So we began by first pushing our little index fingers into the soft soil in our ceramic cannister designed to hold a large evergreen tree. Then Dad lovingly placed our little seed into our hole and gently covered it with soil. We watered our little seed with Mom's green watering can with a long spout used to water her kitchen plants. Staring at our newly planted Christmas tree, Judy and I watched and waited for awhile. Nothing seemed to be taking place so we watched a little more. Reading the newspaper while sitting in his green, dad-only recliner, my dad looked up and said, "If you girls find something else to do, your tree will grow faster. It's like this: A pot of water seems to take forever to boil when it's watched." So Judy and I scurried off to play for awhile.
Ten or fifteen minutes later we returned to our cannister to see if there was detectable growth. Oh my gosh!!! There appeared to be a sprig of growth in the form of one evergreen needle sticking up from the soil!!! Judy and I were astonished! We were, indeed, growing our Christmas tree that very night! Our excitement could hardly be contained! Jumping around, laughing, giggling ... "wait till our friends hear about this!" we thought aloud!
By this time we were ready to exit the room for awhile because we knew our tree would grow faster. Again, we returned only to find a little bit bigger sprig of twig with a few pine needles standing up in our cannister! This cycle repeated until we ultimately witnessed a 2-foot branch growing from our cannister. My dad finally encouraged us to go to bed ... it was late by this time, probably 9pm, ... with the assured promise that our Christmas tree would be full grown by morning. It was hard to fall asleep that night, but I did finally drift off to sleep fully planning on awakening early to see our new tree in full display!
As you might guess Judy and I caught our first glimpse of a full-sized Christmas tree that next morning! Oh my, we were so very excited!
The next year my sister and I asked Dad if we could grow a Christmas tree, again. Imagine our great sadness & disappointment when he laughed and declared the whole experience to be a hoax! As we listened in stunned silence as Dad explained that the idea came to him after he'd read a story in the Reader's Digest. The little red seed was really a "Red Hot" candy and he'd placed little pieces of the tree into the cannister whenever we'd leave the room. Our hearts were heavy as Disappointment reigned that day. Never again would we ask Dad to grow a Christmas tree for Christmas. The magic of the Christmas season seemed to "pop" after the truth of his deception was revealed.
When I think about it, it wasn't much later that I finally accepted the truth that Santa Claus wasn't a real story. Oh, I knew in my heart what the real meaning of Christmas was about, but I'd blended the story of Santa with the Nativity story somewhere along the way. Some of the magic spell of Christmas, which included the Santa Claus story and our Christmas Tree story, was broken for me. As I grew I began to understand the mechanics of Christmas with an adult perspective. Christmas began to take on more and more responsibility so that by age 15, I was thinking about buying or making gifts, myself. No longer did the giving of gifts center only on what I would receive. The magic of Christmas seemed to elude my heart for years.
My dad was having fun and also trying to keep the magic of Christmas alive for my sister and I. He wasn't trying to be mean. Rather he was trying to help make our holiday even more special than it already was. What I have learned is that the magic of Christmas can still reside in my heart ~~ no matter if I believe in Santa Claus or the Growing-of-the- Christmas-Tree-In-One-Night stories. Rick and I never chose to grow a Christmas tree for our three children, ... nor did we spend much time talking about Santa Claus. Instead our family worked to include the story of the birth of Jesus into our holiday celebrations and traditions.
...But I will never ever forget the night we grew our Christmas tree. It was one very special and magical evening for the Taral family ... What did I learn? I finally learned that the true Magic of Christmas is more than the story of Santa & his elves working tirelessly to bring gifts to every little boy and girl around the world on Christmas Eve. Instead it is the Magic of the virgin birth of Jesus, my Lord and Savior.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Our Special Son -- Jeremy
On a cold, blustery winter day twenty years ago our son, Jeremy, was born into this world. This birth was planned and scheduled because it was easier for us to plan for and schedule family Christmas activities. Our choices for delivery were limited, but November 26th seemed the perfect choice at the time. Our second child would be delivered surgically in a beautiful wood-paneled suite which looked more like a hotel than a hospital delivery room.
So there Rick and I stood looking at our tiny newborn son as he lay beneath heat lights. Such a squirmy little guy, Jeremy looked around and cried whenever the nurses fussed over him. First, he was cleaned, then he was given eye drops and then, a needle plunged into his little thigh offering vitamin K. There just seemed so much to do in such a short time. Finally the nursing staff left Jeremy alone and we moved in closer. Yep, he had all ten toes and ten fingers. Our son looked beautiful and we fell in love instantly this this little guy. Smiling, I gently touched our precious baby boy and stroked his soft, smooth skin. "Hi, little guy," I intoned, "Welcome to this world, my sweet!" Little did I know that this world would not always be so kind to Jeremy. He would face many obstacles in life but for now, he was safe and sound.
Rick and I had returned to church when our eldest daughter, Megan, was almost ten months old. By the time Jeremy was born we were entrenched in a church and had developed some very deep friendships as a married couple. We found ourselves praying over this little boy as he lay squirming under the heat lamps. We prayed, "Oh, God, please protect this little baby. Keep him safe and protect him. Let us be good parents, God." I wanted to protect Jeremy from everything mean & awful in this world.
Within two months Jeremy would develop a serious respiratory illness that would land him in the hospital for almost a week. From then on he would need breathing treatments 3-4 times a day for another year and a half. It was a terrible nightmare that just went on and on. Everywhere I went I toted a breathing machine so that Jeremy could receive a treatment on schedule. I have one picture of our little baby receiving his medicine ~~ that's it. Life was just too busy to take snapshots of history like this.
Desperate for relief, I asked our pastor to assemble the elders for prayer. Again, I felt moved to pray for Jeremy. So one night our pastor & two elders from our church came over to our house and prayed for Jeremy's asthma to go away. And I just knew that God would heal Jeremy's lungs in time. And within a couple of months, his asthma did go away. I finally threw that old nebulizer away.
It wasn't too very long, though, that I began to see changes in the face of our special son. He began to stare vacantly into space. He didn't seem able to name or point to his body parts anymore. No longer content to play with me, he spent more and more time by himself. Sometimes he seemed deaf. Once. as I sat behind Jeremy as he was watching TV, I rang a bell right behind his head. Jeremy didn't even turn around. But when I crinkled a piece of candy wrapper in the kitchen, Jeremy came running. What was all this about?!
I began to suspect that there was more to these behaviors than I was hearing from my pediatrician. As the months progressed we began to watch Jeremy retreat more and more into himself. And I grew more worried and anxious with each passing day. Again, I felt compelled to pray for our son. So I asked our pastor to gather together the elders for another time of prayer. Soon our pastor and two elders gathered around to pray for Jeremy, again. Only this time I didn't walk away feeling as confident as before. I wanted a normal little boy, but instead, we were given the diagnosis of autism about a year later, when Jeremy was 3 and a half. Our lives were instantly changed by this diagnosis and we would live a different sort of life from now own.
The biggest difference in our first prayers for Jeremy and the second prayers for Jeremy were the answers we received. Jeremy was healed from his asthma fairly quickly; but it would be years before Jeremy would begin recovery from his autism. God clearly chose to allow our family to walk through the maze of disability, but He has been gracious to lead the way and direct our every intervention. Today Jeremy is able to speak and show love to others. He is considered moderately high-functioning ~~ a miracle given that the specialists involved in his early care considered Jeremy very severe and likely to never talk. We are grateful for this special young man and consider it an honor to be his parents.
So there Rick and I stood looking at our tiny newborn son as he lay beneath heat lights. Such a squirmy little guy, Jeremy looked around and cried whenever the nurses fussed over him. First, he was cleaned, then he was given eye drops and then, a needle plunged into his little thigh offering vitamin K. There just seemed so much to do in such a short time. Finally the nursing staff left Jeremy alone and we moved in closer. Yep, he had all ten toes and ten fingers. Our son looked beautiful and we fell in love instantly this this little guy. Smiling, I gently touched our precious baby boy and stroked his soft, smooth skin. "Hi, little guy," I intoned, "Welcome to this world, my sweet!" Little did I know that this world would not always be so kind to Jeremy. He would face many obstacles in life but for now, he was safe and sound.
Rick and I had returned to church when our eldest daughter, Megan, was almost ten months old. By the time Jeremy was born we were entrenched in a church and had developed some very deep friendships as a married couple. We found ourselves praying over this little boy as he lay squirming under the heat lamps. We prayed, "Oh, God, please protect this little baby. Keep him safe and protect him. Let us be good parents, God." I wanted to protect Jeremy from everything mean & awful in this world.
Within two months Jeremy would develop a serious respiratory illness that would land him in the hospital for almost a week. From then on he would need breathing treatments 3-4 times a day for another year and a half. It was a terrible nightmare that just went on and on. Everywhere I went I toted a breathing machine so that Jeremy could receive a treatment on schedule. I have one picture of our little baby receiving his medicine ~~ that's it. Life was just too busy to take snapshots of history like this.
Desperate for relief, I asked our pastor to assemble the elders for prayer. Again, I felt moved to pray for Jeremy. So one night our pastor & two elders from our church came over to our house and prayed for Jeremy's asthma to go away. And I just knew that God would heal Jeremy's lungs in time. And within a couple of months, his asthma did go away. I finally threw that old nebulizer away.
It wasn't too very long, though, that I began to see changes in the face of our special son. He began to stare vacantly into space. He didn't seem able to name or point to his body parts anymore. No longer content to play with me, he spent more and more time by himself. Sometimes he seemed deaf. Once. as I sat behind Jeremy as he was watching TV, I rang a bell right behind his head. Jeremy didn't even turn around. But when I crinkled a piece of candy wrapper in the kitchen, Jeremy came running. What was all this about?!
I began to suspect that there was more to these behaviors than I was hearing from my pediatrician. As the months progressed we began to watch Jeremy retreat more and more into himself. And I grew more worried and anxious with each passing day. Again, I felt compelled to pray for our son. So I asked our pastor to gather together the elders for another time of prayer. Soon our pastor and two elders gathered around to pray for Jeremy, again. Only this time I didn't walk away feeling as confident as before. I wanted a normal little boy, but instead, we were given the diagnosis of autism about a year later, when Jeremy was 3 and a half. Our lives were instantly changed by this diagnosis and we would live a different sort of life from now own.
The biggest difference in our first prayers for Jeremy and the second prayers for Jeremy were the answers we received. Jeremy was healed from his asthma fairly quickly; but it would be years before Jeremy would begin recovery from his autism. God clearly chose to allow our family to walk through the maze of disability, but He has been gracious to lead the way and direct our every intervention. Today Jeremy is able to speak and show love to others. He is considered moderately high-functioning ~~ a miracle given that the specialists involved in his early care considered Jeremy very severe and likely to never talk. We are grateful for this special young man and consider it an honor to be his parents.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
A "Charlie Brown Christmas"
When I was a little girl I remember watching "Charlie Brown's Christmas" on TV. We had just bought our first color TV not too long before, so it was a special treat to watch this show in color that night! My sister and I cuddled in front of the screen and sat mesmerized by the cartoon characters of Lucy, Linus and Charlie Brown. I wondered why all the adults sounded like broken trumpets and why Snoopy didn't talk. Secretly I admired Linus for carrying his blanket everywhere with him. But most of all I remember the pitiful little Christmas tree that Charlie Brown picked for the Christmas presentation. My heart was touched by Charlie's simple gesture to help himself and others remember "the real reason for the season".
When I think back to that time, I remember telling my mother, "I want to make Christmas special this year, Mommy. I don't want our Christmas to be just about gifts." It was with a genuine heart that I vowed to try to think about the birth of baby Jesus instead of all those gifts that would surely be found under the tree on Christmas morning.
As you can guess, I quickly forgot my promise when the abundance of Christmas gifts met me that morning. My parents were only too happy to lavish gifts upon their two young daughters, and I was only too happy to see all these new gifts!
Now I am in my 50's and I find myself still struggling with the concept of Christmas. It is a magical holiday for our (almost adult) children. Rick and I have tried to keep the spirit of Christ's birth alive during the Christmas season, but we, too, wrestle with the commercialism of this holiday. Our children receive three gifts from us ~~ just like baby Jesus received gold, frankincense and myrhh ~~ and we have read the Nativity story on many Christmas mornings.
But last year I found something special =) I found a 2-foot high "Charlie Brown Christmas Tree" ! The poor thing was bent over and held one red Christmas ornament just like the little tree that Charlie Brown decorated for his pageant! Perhaps God was reminding me of His unspoken prompt to my heart when I was a little girl. As I unwrapped my little tree from its box, my family stood around our table as I told them my story of long ago. And this year, our little Christmas tree will occupy a special place as our kitchen table centerpiece. We will still celebrate Christmas, but just maybe, each of us will remember the story of the Nativity this holiday season.
When I think back to that time, I remember telling my mother, "I want to make Christmas special this year, Mommy. I don't want our Christmas to be just about gifts." It was with a genuine heart that I vowed to try to think about the birth of baby Jesus instead of all those gifts that would surely be found under the tree on Christmas morning.
As you can guess, I quickly forgot my promise when the abundance of Christmas gifts met me that morning. My parents were only too happy to lavish gifts upon their two young daughters, and I was only too happy to see all these new gifts!
Now I am in my 50's and I find myself still struggling with the concept of Christmas. It is a magical holiday for our (almost adult) children. Rick and I have tried to keep the spirit of Christ's birth alive during the Christmas season, but we, too, wrestle with the commercialism of this holiday. Our children receive three gifts from us ~~ just like baby Jesus received gold, frankincense and myrhh ~~ and we have read the Nativity story on many Christmas mornings.
But last year I found something special =) I found a 2-foot high "Charlie Brown Christmas Tree" ! The poor thing was bent over and held one red Christmas ornament just like the little tree that Charlie Brown decorated for his pageant! Perhaps God was reminding me of His unspoken prompt to my heart when I was a little girl. As I unwrapped my little tree from its box, my family stood around our table as I told them my story of long ago. And this year, our little Christmas tree will occupy a special place as our kitchen table centerpiece. We will still celebrate Christmas, but just maybe, each of us will remember the story of the Nativity this holiday season.
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