A True Friend

     Watching our sons play in the backyard I stood talking with a good friend from church.  Our boys were born the very same day -- November 26th.  At two and a half the boys were as different as night and day.  Alison's son was short in stature and physically coordinated.  Jeremy was taller, but less coordinated.  And try as hard as he could, Matthew just couldn't seem to get Jeremy to play with him.  Instead Jeremy ran around the yard waving broken branches he'd picked up from the ground which was typical behavior for him. 

     With a slight pause, Alison gently asked me,  "Kathy, have you ever thought of autism when you watch Jeremy play?"   Inside my mind screamed, "Yes", but to Alison I said,  "No.  My doctor says Jeremy is just fine and that he's just a late bloomer."  The awkwardness descended and I left soon thereafter.  And I hardly talked to my friend, Alison, for another two years. 

     It wasn't that I didn't like Alison.  Actually, I liked her alot.  But she knew my secret -- a secret that I hadn't been able to accept myself -- that Jeremy just might have a very real problem.  And I couldn't face the thought that someone else might guess my terrible fear.  So I put Alison on a shelf and left her there for quite some time.

     A couple of years later we did have Jeremy tested.  And sure enough, he was diagnosed with autism.  This was in the early 90's when not that many children were being diagnosed with autism so I don't fault my pediatrician -- too much.  But when Jeremy was finally diagnosed I remembered back into my past of all those times when others after Alison had tried to talk with me, including God.

     Later, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my friend Alison called to ask if she could come by.  Although I felt sheepish for ignoring Alison the past couple of years, I also knew that Alison cared about me.  So we made plans for a short visit.  On the day of our scheduled visit, I'd received phone calls from several doctors urging me to start chemotherapy due to the aggressive nature of my cancer.  No one was at home with me that day and I started to panic.  Alison called earlier than expected, listened, then said she was on her way over right then and there.  What a blessing it was to have Alison with me on the very day when I needed someone to cry with.  We prayed and cried together, and I was able to say that I was sorry for leaving our friendship behind.  Without batting an eye my friend said,  "That's okay.  I understood.  And you're still my good friend =)"

     God provided me with this one friend who wasn't afraid to come forward with the truth -- in love and gentleness.  She was willing to sacrifice our friendship knowing that someone needed to speak the truth to me in love.  And God used Alison to minister to me in a very profound way =)  To this day I consider Alison one of my very good friends.  I know that she will be straightforward with me -- and gentle when needed.  My only hope is that I can be that sort of friend to my friends.