My friend, Miriam

"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person falls, the other can reach out and help ... " Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 ...

     Recently I had dinner with a long-time friend, Miriam.  Our friendship has spanned almost 18 years  and has withstood the test of time and distance.  Catching-up while enjoying sushi and grilled tuna, Miriam and I marveled at how easily we slid into comfortable companionship.  Truth be told, I consider Miriam to be my very best friend -- minus God, Rick and my sister.  One might ask what is so special about this friendship?  Let me tell you how our how friendship began and grew into a solid relationship built on nothing less than truth and love.

     Dealing with breast cancer at the age of 36 was not an easy thing to do.  For one, I had no one else my age going through chemotherapy, too.  And because people often shy away from those dealing with cancer, I had lost a few very close friends as well.  As I languished in bed, reeling from the effects of treatment, I asked God to please bring me a friend -- someone who would truly understand what I was going through.  

     I'm often told that God knows what we need and will provide for us in His timing.  I desperately wanted a friend who would understand the pain and suffering I was feeling.  But for the first six months of this new sort of life,  no such friend surfaced and I wrestled with life as best I could.  

     Just one month after my first surgery, February 1996, on a cold and wintry Sunday, Rick and I decided to visit a new church.  While settling our young children into Sunday school, one of the pastors told me of another young woman in their congregation going through breast cancer treatment like me.  "Oh, could you please arrange for the two of to meet?" I implored.  The young pastor promised to try to do just that.  Soon thereafter I was given Miriam's phone number to call -- which I did.  Weeks went by and I never heard from Miriam.  In time I finished therapy and began trying to rebuild my strength and vitality.   

     In August 1996, the Kansas City Race for the Cure was held at Town Center Square.  My surgeon opened her offices to host her special patients with a continental breakfast -- then everyone walked together to nearby Town Center Square for the race.  While standing among mostly older women at my surgeon's office, I noticed one young woman standing alongside her husband.  She looked to be close to my age.  Being a super-extroverted personality, I quickly scooted to this couple.  The four of us engaged in lively chatter and later walked most of the route together :)

    As you might guess, the young woman was Miriam!  The two of us learned that we shared more than just a diagnosis of breast cancer.  We also shared the same breast cancer surgeon, plastic surgeon and same oncology doctor group.  Miriam is just a few years younger than me, but we both had experienced this horrid disease in our 30's.  She remembered my phone call, but was just too sick to return a call.  Miriam, too, felt alone in her struggle against breast cancer.

     In His perfect timing, God brought the two of us into a friendship that would help carry us through the next years with laughter and loving encouragement.  Although we have very different lives -- Miriam is career-oriented and without children, while I mostly work at home and have three children -- God knew we would share more than just our outward lives together.  We share common values and struggles, but also share our belief in Christ, as well.  I am so grateful for this friend of mine.

     Miriam and I were able to support and encourage one another through some very difficult years.  We met often to share secrets with one another -- to talk about cancer, which is so important for some of us -- and to express our dismay with lingering side effects.  When no one else really understood the pain I felt, Miriam did.  To this day I meet with Miriam and enjoy the closeness that few others experience in life.  We still talk about cancer but not as much as during those early years.  Nowadays we talk about other things like our families and future career paths.  Although my friend now lives in another state, we are able to travel to one another's cities at least yearly -- sometimes twice yearly.  

     This year we celebrate 18 years of living cancer free.  It hasn't been an easy road, but in retrospect, it was easier just knowing someone else was walking through this war with me.  Thank you, Miriam, for your unconditional love and support.  I love you, dear friend.

"... A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer ..."  Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 (continued from above)